brave: possessing or exhibiting courage; a warrior; to defy, challenge or dare; to make splendid; valient.
my name means {brave, valiant, courageous}
where have I most strongly been under attack my whole life?
fear.
i have been daunted with fear, literally everyday of my life.
it was a stronghold in my heart and mind up until the last year.
i was afraid of everything.
failure.
not being good enough.
rejection.
being left alone.
being unseen.
missing God's plan for my life.
having someone not like me.
not making the grade.
heights.
falling.
God not accepting me.
being outside of Grace and messing up too much for God's forgiveness.
i was afraid of everything.
until one day, a year and a half ago, i was forced to face my fears.
Highlands College Expedition 2011.
my first year in Highlands College.
we went into the wilderness for two days to be challenged and defy our "possible" mindset.
we got to a rock climbing challenge, and i was freaking out cause of my fear of heights.
i got five feet up the rock.
"i can't"
ten feet up.
"i can't"
twenty feet up.
"I CAN'T DO THIS."
crying the whole time.
for every "you can do this, you got it!" my team offered me, i fought back with a "NO. i can't do this."
i hung there for about 20 minutes, stuck, listening to every lie that the enemy was throwing at me and accepting it as absolute truth.
"you'll never make it to the top."
"you're not good enough."
"you're too afraid."
"just quit."
i got to a point where i realized i hadn't just been listening to lies on that rock, but that i had been listening to lies my entire life. and i was sick of it.
i said out loud,
"no, satan. you are under my feet. you have no control over my life. you are done. i am more than a conqueror. i am an overcomer. and you are defeated. get away from me. i can do all things in Christ who gives me strength."
i started climbing, and within two minutes i was at the top of the rock.
the grip of fear on my life was loosened on that rock.
the next challenge:
repelling off of a 180 foot cliff.
i got to the edge of the cliff.
fear tightened its grasp and tried to suffocate me again.
i started listening to and speaking lies again.
out of nowhere, the guy helping me started saying Joshua 1:9 and instructing me to say it after him.
that's my life verse. the promise God gave me through the darkest part of my life.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be discouraged. Do not be afraid. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
i kept saying it.
"wherever i go. you're with me. wherever i go. wherever i go. wherever i go. wherever i go."
one step.
and i'm hanging off the cliff.
i felt His arms holding me.
i felt the thickness of His presence surrounding me.
i don't think i've ever felt Him that close to me before.
all i could say was the name of Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
Jesus.
fear lost its grip that day.
yes, i still battle fear, but it is not a stronghold in my life anymore.
i believe that you are attacked most often where you are called.
i am called {brave, courageous, valiant}
the enemy, for my whole life said "you're gonna be bound by fear".
since the day on the rock, i have been able to live a courageous life, living under Grace, and laughing in the face of fear- knowing that i am more than a conqueror and i have the authority and final say- not the enemy.
going back to the meaning of brave
{possessing or exhibiting courage; a warrior; to defy, challenge or dare; to make splendid; valiant.}
WARRIOR. {a person engaged in, experienced in, or devoted to war}
i am a warrior in the Kingdom of Light.
being in full time ministry, i have devoted my life to fighting for the name of Jesus.
i am engaged in daily war with the kingdom of darkness.
although the enemy i fight has already been defeated, i live in his territory and must engage in warfare everyday and make sure he knows who he is fighting.
i no longer live in fear because i now have the understanding that he is afraid of me.
terrified, in fact.
he knows the potential inside of me and the impact my life is going to have for the Kingdom of God.
and he is going to do everything he can to try to stop me.
i embrace courageous living, warrior living, and i say "bring it on."
*this
post was part of a community of writers that take 5 minutes every
Friday to write, just for the love of writing. you can join in at
www.lisajobaker.com*
Friday, May 3, 2013
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
where my trust is without borders
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders.
Let me walk upon the waters. Wherever you would call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.
And my faith will be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior.
*****************************************************************
this song is my life anthem right now.
i sing it literally every single day.
these words are constantly running through my mind and heart.
2 years ago i left everything to follow the call of God.
i moved from beautiful Colorado to (what i thought was) barren Alabama.
i left the security of family, a home, a job, being close to finishing my Associate's degree, my friends, my church, my mountains- everything.
Birmingham didn't look right. It didn't feel right. But I knew it was where I was called.
So one day, I packed up my car with my belongings, and drove across the country, 1300 miles, alone. Not knowing what to expect. Not knowing where my money for the year was coming from. Not knowing the people I would encounter. Expecting challenges and hardships and pain. Leaving all sense of security at what used to be home.
leaving Colorado to move to Birmingham and to be a part of Highlands College and Church of the Highlands was probably the best decision I have ever made.
Alabama has become home.
my life has radically and completely changed as I encountered Jesus in ways I had never thought possible. i am new person because of my years here.
i graduate Highlands College in 2 weeks.
the feeling is surreal.
i have two more weeks with some of the greatest people i have ever known.
my family.
some of us are staying for 3rd year internships.
one of us is moving to St. Louis to pursue a HUGE God-given opportunity.
some of us are going to California.
some to Florida.
one of us is going to India.
some Africa.
one of us has dreams of Australia.
our family over the next year or so will be spreading across the globe.
there are so many unknowns.
its requiring A LOT of trust in the voice, heart, plans, and peace of God.
God's plans are so much bigger than anything we could ever imagine.
its faith to not give up on dreams, even when they seem too big or too far away.
its faith to trust in what the Lord has spoken and is speaking.
***********************************************************************************
here's an update on my journey and where i am headed.
up until two weeks ago, i hadn't the slightest clue what my next step was.
two weeks ago, we went to Jacksonville, Florida, for the ARC Conference.
ARC (Association of Related Churches) is a church planting organization that plants one church every 4 days and equips pastors to launch churches and bring their God given dreams and visions to reality.
as interns, we had the honor of serving these pastors for a week so that they could be poured into, encouraged, and built up.
i wasn't going to go to ARC, but after talking to Pastor Hayes, he strongly encouraged me to make the investment, and spend a hundred dollars to go.
i reluctantly signed up and paid the fees.
i am so thankful i went.
it was the absolute best week for me.
i came away so encouraged and full.
i got to hear from and be around the greatest leaders in the world.
we're talking about people like...
Brian Houston. Christine Caine. Larry Stockstill. Rick Warren. John and Lisa Bevere. Phillip and Holly Wagner. Willie George. Lori Champion. Chris Hodges. And countless more.
{here's a free nugget: the #1 thing that stuck with me. Christine Caine said "It is better to be marked by God than marketed by men."}
i had a couple opportunities come up during the week.
i had an interview for what looks like a dream job. in Texas.
but i have no peace about it.
and then California crossed my path.
i've never thought about or considered the possibility of California. until now.
before the actual conference started, there were breakout app sessions.
i went to the ARC Women app session.
i was sitting with one of our pastor's wives, Mrs. Debbie.
then i saw this lady walk in, and my spirit jumped. it was one of those moments where my heart screamed "I HAVE TO KNOW YOU."
well, i ignored it and didn't talk to her, cause i didn't want to sound weird.
every time i saw her over the next 4 days, the same thing would happen.
the last day, when everything was over, i was sitting there waiting for our intern clean up meeting to start with my good friend Ashley. i told her what happened and pointed the woman out to her. she told me i was dumb, and needed to obey the Holy Spirit and go make a connection with her. we argued for 10 minutes and i finally went.
i confidently introduced myself, told her what happened, asked if she could tell me about herself, her ministry, and her experience in women's ministry- we talked for about 15 minutes. she asked me how i got to Highlands. what my story was. what my ministry calling is. what my vision and heart for women's ministry is (which we have the same heart and vision for). she encouraged me, poured into me- spiritually and practically. through talking i found out that she and her husband planted a church in Orange County, California, that launched 7 months ago.
i asked if they needed help in their church. she said yes- they need help with girls discipleship. (how perfect). and that i was welcome to come visit any time. to pray about it and talk to my spiritual authority and see what my next step would be. (in much more words on both sides...this is the small, condensed version).
she asked me if i believed Birmingham and Highlands were where i am supposed to be planted, and i had no hesitation or doubts is saying "no".
i love Birmingham. i love Highlands. but its not where i am supposed to plant myself.
the pastor who is responsible for getting me to Birmingham- Pastor Layne- is always telling us to go after the who, and not the what- even if it means moving from a place like Disney World to a place like Vision Land- to follow the cloud and the who.
i want to follow this cloud.
i can't explain the Holy Spirit connection i felt with this pastor. it doesn't make sense.
i have this dream job available in Texas, but no peace with it.
however, i would move to California tomorrow just to serve under their leadership.
i would be willing to work two jobs, just to support myself to live in California, so I could serve in their church.
having looked at the church website and listened to many messages, i have already fallen in love with the church and haven't even been. it looks PHENOMENAL. everything they do is so intentional, so Biblically based, so real, so vision focused- its amazing.
i came home. let my heart stir. prayed on what God was speaking and showing me.
and talked to Pastor Hayes. (our ministry coordinator and my spiritual authority).
he told me that from everything i communicated, i needed to pack my bags and go out for a visit as soon as i possibly could.
i went to sports that day and looking at airline tickets, i stumbled upon a round trip ticket for $170 to San Diego. (completely Jesus providing for me).
i texted Pastor Meghan. worked out the dates, and booked my ticket.
i'm going to California. alone. in 4 weeks.
this is a huge leap of faith.
its insane, really. not normal.
i don't do things like this, UNLESS i know that its what the Holy Spirit is leading me to do.
and i know, with no doubt, that this is what i am supposed to do.
there's a lot of uncertainty, but i am certain this is the step God is lighting my path to take.
is it hard? yes.
does it require sacrifice? yes. obedience always does.
is it scary? yes.
is it perhaps blind faith? completely.
am i excited? beyond excited.
this is a crazy, awesome, Jesus adventure.
once again, i'm following the voice of the Lord where He is leading me- even though it is taking me 2,000 miles from home.
its sacrifice.
my family thinks i'm insane.
my mother hasn't spoken to me in 8 days.
i have less money in my car savings account.
i am facing my fear of flying again (FOR A 7 HOUR FLIGHT. pray for me.)
but i have perfect peace. the kind that comes from the Lord and following Him. the kind that surpasses all human understanding.
i am honored that He has chosen me to walk this path, and i cannot wait to see what plays out and comes from this.
its a risk. but why not take risks?
God did not save me to tame me.
i want to live a dangerous life. a life of faith. and faith is a risk.
Let me walk upon the waters. Wherever you would call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.
And my faith will be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior.
*****************************************************************
this song is my life anthem right now.
i sing it literally every single day.
these words are constantly running through my mind and heart.
2 years ago i left everything to follow the call of God.
i moved from beautiful Colorado to (what i thought was) barren Alabama.
i left the security of family, a home, a job, being close to finishing my Associate's degree, my friends, my church, my mountains- everything.
Birmingham didn't look right. It didn't feel right. But I knew it was where I was called.
So one day, I packed up my car with my belongings, and drove across the country, 1300 miles, alone. Not knowing what to expect. Not knowing where my money for the year was coming from. Not knowing the people I would encounter. Expecting challenges and hardships and pain. Leaving all sense of security at what used to be home.
leaving Colorado to move to Birmingham and to be a part of Highlands College and Church of the Highlands was probably the best decision I have ever made.
Alabama has become home.
my life has radically and completely changed as I encountered Jesus in ways I had never thought possible. i am new person because of my years here.
i graduate Highlands College in 2 weeks.
the feeling is surreal.
i have two more weeks with some of the greatest people i have ever known.
my family.
some of us are staying for 3rd year internships.
one of us is moving to St. Louis to pursue a HUGE God-given opportunity.
some of us are going to California.
some to Florida.
one of us is going to India.
some Africa.
one of us has dreams of Australia.
our family over the next year or so will be spreading across the globe.
there are so many unknowns.
its requiring A LOT of trust in the voice, heart, plans, and peace of God.
God's plans are so much bigger than anything we could ever imagine.
its faith to not give up on dreams, even when they seem too big or too far away.
its faith to trust in what the Lord has spoken and is speaking.
***********************************************************************************
here's an update on my journey and where i am headed.
up until two weeks ago, i hadn't the slightest clue what my next step was.
two weeks ago, we went to Jacksonville, Florida, for the ARC Conference.
ARC (Association of Related Churches) is a church planting organization that plants one church every 4 days and equips pastors to launch churches and bring their God given dreams and visions to reality.
as interns, we had the honor of serving these pastors for a week so that they could be poured into, encouraged, and built up.
i wasn't going to go to ARC, but after talking to Pastor Hayes, he strongly encouraged me to make the investment, and spend a hundred dollars to go.
i reluctantly signed up and paid the fees.
i am so thankful i went.
it was the absolute best week for me.
i came away so encouraged and full.
i got to hear from and be around the greatest leaders in the world.
we're talking about people like...
Brian Houston. Christine Caine. Larry Stockstill. Rick Warren. John and Lisa Bevere. Phillip and Holly Wagner. Willie George. Lori Champion. Chris Hodges. And countless more.
{here's a free nugget: the #1 thing that stuck with me. Christine Caine said "It is better to be marked by God than marketed by men."}
i had a couple opportunities come up during the week.
i had an interview for what looks like a dream job. in Texas.
but i have no peace about it.
and then California crossed my path.
i've never thought about or considered the possibility of California. until now.
before the actual conference started, there were breakout app sessions.
i went to the ARC Women app session.
i was sitting with one of our pastor's wives, Mrs. Debbie.
then i saw this lady walk in, and my spirit jumped. it was one of those moments where my heart screamed "I HAVE TO KNOW YOU."
well, i ignored it and didn't talk to her, cause i didn't want to sound weird.
every time i saw her over the next 4 days, the same thing would happen.
the last day, when everything was over, i was sitting there waiting for our intern clean up meeting to start with my good friend Ashley. i told her what happened and pointed the woman out to her. she told me i was dumb, and needed to obey the Holy Spirit and go make a connection with her. we argued for 10 minutes and i finally went.
i confidently introduced myself, told her what happened, asked if she could tell me about herself, her ministry, and her experience in women's ministry- we talked for about 15 minutes. she asked me how i got to Highlands. what my story was. what my ministry calling is. what my vision and heart for women's ministry is (which we have the same heart and vision for). she encouraged me, poured into me- spiritually and practically. through talking i found out that she and her husband planted a church in Orange County, California, that launched 7 months ago.
i asked if they needed help in their church. she said yes- they need help with girls discipleship. (how perfect). and that i was welcome to come visit any time. to pray about it and talk to my spiritual authority and see what my next step would be. (in much more words on both sides...this is the small, condensed version).
she asked me if i believed Birmingham and Highlands were where i am supposed to be planted, and i had no hesitation or doubts is saying "no".
i love Birmingham. i love Highlands. but its not where i am supposed to plant myself.
the pastor who is responsible for getting me to Birmingham- Pastor Layne- is always telling us to go after the who, and not the what- even if it means moving from a place like Disney World to a place like Vision Land- to follow the cloud and the who.
i want to follow this cloud.
i can't explain the Holy Spirit connection i felt with this pastor. it doesn't make sense.
i have this dream job available in Texas, but no peace with it.
however, i would move to California tomorrow just to serve under their leadership.
i would be willing to work two jobs, just to support myself to live in California, so I could serve in their church.
having looked at the church website and listened to many messages, i have already fallen in love with the church and haven't even been. it looks PHENOMENAL. everything they do is so intentional, so Biblically based, so real, so vision focused- its amazing.
i came home. let my heart stir. prayed on what God was speaking and showing me.
and talked to Pastor Hayes. (our ministry coordinator and my spiritual authority).
he told me that from everything i communicated, i needed to pack my bags and go out for a visit as soon as i possibly could.
i went to sports that day and looking at airline tickets, i stumbled upon a round trip ticket for $170 to San Diego. (completely Jesus providing for me).
i texted Pastor Meghan. worked out the dates, and booked my ticket.
i'm going to California. alone. in 4 weeks.
this is a huge leap of faith.
its insane, really. not normal.
i don't do things like this, UNLESS i know that its what the Holy Spirit is leading me to do.
and i know, with no doubt, that this is what i am supposed to do.
there's a lot of uncertainty, but i am certain this is the step God is lighting my path to take.
is it hard? yes.
does it require sacrifice? yes. obedience always does.
is it scary? yes.
is it perhaps blind faith? completely.
am i excited? beyond excited.
this is a crazy, awesome, Jesus adventure.
once again, i'm following the voice of the Lord where He is leading me- even though it is taking me 2,000 miles from home.
its sacrifice.
my family thinks i'm insane.
my mother hasn't spoken to me in 8 days.
i have less money in my car savings account.
i am facing my fear of flying again (FOR A 7 HOUR FLIGHT. pray for me.)
but i have perfect peace. the kind that comes from the Lord and following Him. the kind that surpasses all human understanding.
i am honored that He has chosen me to walk this path, and i cannot wait to see what plays out and comes from this.
its a risk. but why not take risks?
God did not save me to tame me.
i want to live a dangerous life. a life of faith. and faith is a risk.
Friday, April 5, 2013
after
life is not a fairytale. it is a battleground.
we all have thoughts similar to....
after i graduate and have my degree and a career, then I'll be happy...
after i get married, I'll finally feel whole and not alone...
after i have a baby, my life will feel fulfilled...
BUT WHAT ABOUT RIGHT NOW?
life is a process. it is not an event.
we must learn to embrace the process and live in a way that takes each day at a time.
yes, its okay to make goals, but we shouldn't live with our head in the clouds in some far off land where our life seems "perfect".
we will never be effective for the Kingdom if we're lost in the days to come.
you can't see your next step if your eyes are focused on a mile away. focus on the next step.
i'm just as guilty as this as the next person. if i could skip the next 20 years and be 40 years old, with a husband, three kids, a ministry, a couple books published and influence in the women's ministry world- i would do it in a heartbeat.
but if i were to skip the next 20 years- think of how much I would miss out on.
relationships.
memories.
travels.
small miracles in daily life that the Lord has planned.
falling in love.
my wedding.
the birth of my children.
their first steps, words, kindergarten graduations...
the first letter saying my book was accepted for publication.
there is so much i would miss out on if i were to skip the next twenty years, just so i could be in my "ideal, perfect" world.
i chose today, to embrace today. to embrace tomorrow. to embrace the season i am in right now.
even though i don't know what is next. even though i don't know who my husband is. even though i don't know where i'm going to get placed in a church and what i will be doing there. even though i still have to write the books that will be published one day.
i will not get so distracted with after that i forget about now.
i make a new commitment to enjoy the moments.
i want to change the world. but first i must learn to see the beauty in moments. how will i ever change the world if i can't change moments?
life is beautiful. each moments counts.
if life is a battleground, we must live in the moment, aware of our surroundings.
its time to fight.
Ephesians 5:15 - "Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity (moment), because the days are evil."
*this post was part of a community of writers that take 5 minutes every Friday to write, just for the love of writing. you can join in at www.lisajobaker.com*
we all have thoughts similar to....
after i graduate and have my degree and a career, then I'll be happy...
after i get married, I'll finally feel whole and not alone...
after i have a baby, my life will feel fulfilled...
BUT WHAT ABOUT RIGHT NOW?
life is a process. it is not an event.
we must learn to embrace the process and live in a way that takes each day at a time.
yes, its okay to make goals, but we shouldn't live with our head in the clouds in some far off land where our life seems "perfect".
we will never be effective for the Kingdom if we're lost in the days to come.
you can't see your next step if your eyes are focused on a mile away. focus on the next step.
i'm just as guilty as this as the next person. if i could skip the next 20 years and be 40 years old, with a husband, three kids, a ministry, a couple books published and influence in the women's ministry world- i would do it in a heartbeat.
but if i were to skip the next 20 years- think of how much I would miss out on.
relationships.
memories.
travels.
small miracles in daily life that the Lord has planned.
falling in love.
my wedding.
the birth of my children.
their first steps, words, kindergarten graduations...
the first letter saying my book was accepted for publication.
there is so much i would miss out on if i were to skip the next twenty years, just so i could be in my "ideal, perfect" world.
i chose today, to embrace today. to embrace tomorrow. to embrace the season i am in right now.
even though i don't know what is next. even though i don't know who my husband is. even though i don't know where i'm going to get placed in a church and what i will be doing there. even though i still have to write the books that will be published one day.
i will not get so distracted with after that i forget about now.
i make a new commitment to enjoy the moments.
i want to change the world. but first i must learn to see the beauty in moments. how will i ever change the world if i can't change moments?
life is beautiful. each moments counts.
if life is a battleground, we must live in the moment, aware of our surroundings.
its time to fight.
Ephesians 5:15 - "Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity (moment), because the days are evil."
*this post was part of a community of writers that take 5 minutes every Friday to write, just for the love of writing. you can join in at www.lisajobaker.com*
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